Hey, this isn't quite as bug free as a thing which should be so. Like Off, or something. Not like that. I'll try again.

So, it's a given that the Freemasons are running the country, right? But I bet you didn't know how refreshingly multicultural they are these days. Sufi masons and everything! You know, those Sufis wrote some really great poetry. Of course, they don't have an easy time of it. Lots of more orthodox Islamic interpretations take a dim view of Sufi mysticism. Though I suppose, in light of this information, that that whole minority role is just for show.

What they're really up to, of course, is attacking Russian troops with UFOs. This is a brilliant idea! Who would suspect? In fact, the threat of UFOs has got those kind souls at the Sci-Fi Channel so worried that they're teaming up with ex-cabinet members to do something about it. Finally, our long national nightmare is nearly over. Oh, and hey, the Sci-Fi Channel original miniseries that happens to be about UFOs is almost ready to premiere, too.

Well, it looks like they've got this all wrapped up. But wait a minute. Who's running their Coalition for Freedom of Information? Ed Rothschild?! Uh oh.